i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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