i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Is Oprah even human
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
