ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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