At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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