Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
