I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
