Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
