Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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