what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
