You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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