yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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