Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
