when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
