your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
