I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize