those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
