I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
