Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is Oprah even human
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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