I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
