I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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