Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
