Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
