i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize