My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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