I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
