Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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