maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
