Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
