i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
