no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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