I like my sex mixed with concussions.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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