Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
