Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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