fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
