Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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