WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
