He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I checked into jail on foursquare
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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