sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
