Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
