Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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