Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
