Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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