Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
