You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
