I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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