I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
