I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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