then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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