she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
