woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
