the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
