i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
