Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
