You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
